Thursday, February 09, 2006

A scene which poked my depth

Today morning I did my meditation session to keep my balance. But while I was driving to office, I happen to see a terrible experience which threw me completely out of balance. The scene made me question the root of my meditation practices itself. Let me narrate the scene.

When I just entered the Sangam Bridge, I noticed somebody lying on the rails of the bridge close to the other end. I thought it may be some drunkard, who has lost his balance. But when I reached near to him, I saw a fully naked, dark male, with brown hairs, lying on the ground, close to the railings. He was trying hard to cling to the railings even though I didn’t understand his actual intentions. This was one of the most pathetic situations, I have ever seen of a human being. I lost my mental balance which I was trying to achieve from morning. Bike's accelerator was released and I felt like losing energy. I just thought what I can do in such a situation. Not able to find a proper one, I just prayed from my heart for him till I reached the office. I am not sure, whether my mind was finding an excuse or was there anything I could have done at that point.

A Wish ...

I wish I could drop all the baggage on my back oneday and take birth ..

As fresh as a flower..bloom for the whole world...
And start living...with a child's innocence...
Enjoy living in each moment...as the scriptures has always said..
I wish I could do that..being, anything and everything I do...
Is it just a fantasy? or is it something possible?
I have read somewhere that, 'the possibilities are infinite'..
So may be, this must be also possible

Sunday, February 05, 2006

Deep Blue Sea

Something always touches the depth of my heart, when I am near the sea or ocean. I am not sure what exactly the connection between my heart and the sea is. But everything about sea takes me inside, to the abyss. The dark blue color of the deep sea is my all time favorite. The various moods of the sea are very much similar to the human mind. The sea will be as calm as our mind after a meditation session at the early morning hours during summer. I feel as if the sea goes into deep meditation states during night. The wildest mood I think is during a stormy afternoon during autumn. Furious to swallow anything which comes in its way, the mood is deadly dangerous. And there are as many numbers of intermediate moods as we have for our minds. The depth of sea is as vast, that we just know only a small portion of it. It is similar to our knowledge of the mind, where we just know only less than 10% of our conscious mind.

But sea as such is not good or bad. The waves give the quality to the sea, just as our thoughts. But the waves are not different, they are the sea itself.

I used to watch the sea, continuously for hours and hours standing at the deck of the ship, when we traveled from Kochi to Lakshadweep. When I stand, on the deck, I can have a 360 degree view of the sea. Just me, in a small ship and everything else is sea. It makes me humble to the core, and it’s the experience of bliss. During my childhood, I used to study, sitting under a coconut tree at the sea shore. Watching the waves, one after the other splashing at the shore, I never get exhausted even if I sit for more than five hours at a stretch. Even now words just flows out of me just like the continuous waves, when I start thinking about sea. But let me stop for the time

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

An experiment

I wished, if I could one day, just go to some village, empty handed. I mean without money, or any material possessions with me. Just move to experience life. Give love and share the experience of life with them. Be one among them. Even without carrying my name. Just as a simple human being. But my logical mind fears, how they will react to me? Will they accept me? Or will they consider it as another cheating technique from a city dweller? Or as a spy sent for some purpose? I don’t know, but I wish to experience it.